I need your stories!

Joined: 05 Nov 2008 Posts: 3

Dear suffering retail workers,
I’m writing a comedy screenplay and I’d love to hear any funny stories you have from working in retail. My screenplay revolves around a convenience store, but I’d love to hear stories from any kind of store. I’m sure you’ve all had some difficult and strange customers that you’d like to share with people, to ease your pain . And jerk bosses are everywhere in retail but no two are jerks in quite the same way.
I used to work in a Home Depot, stocking shelves at night, so I know how tedious the retail world can be.
I’m sure you would enjoy seeing your misery on the big screen someday .
Thanks in advance!
AJ

Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 256 Location: 3rd coast

Answer us this AJ: How do you plan to compensate any contributors of this forum should you find your screenplay fetches a boatload of money? After all, these are OUR STORIES and your screenplay wouldn't be worth squat without them, or you wouldn't be asking for them in the first place.

Or do we settle for the satisfaction of a mere mention when you get on stage to receive that Academy Award?

No deal bub. I have lots of great stories but I'll be damned if I'm giving them over to you gratis. You even sound like a typical lazy manager, which definitely hits a raw nerve around here. In retail we're already underpaid and rarely get credit for our contributions, not to mention we already deal with the boss who steals our ideas and takes credit for them when the visiting district manager says "Great idea! Who came up with it?"

Go back to working in retail for a few more years and get your own friggin' stories.

Joined: 05 Nov 2008 Posts: 3

Thank you for your gratuitous reply.
I’ll be glad to share with anyone what I usually get paid for my screenplays, which is nothing. If you think you’re hard done by, try making 0$ an hour.
I could tell about the sacrifices I’ve made to be writing screenplays but I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.
If being a retail manager is so easy, then why don’t you become one?
And thank you, I’ll get by just fine without your help; because unlike you, I don’t sit around being bitter at the world when I have setbacks.

Thanks for your help!
Andrew

Joined: 13 Mar 2005 Posts: 464

Does the Administrator of this site know you're soliciting these stories?

Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 256 Location: 3rd coast

First thing: I never implied being a retail manager is easy, as you asserted. I made reference to retail managers being lazy, due in part I've known a few to solicit staff for ideas, then claim credit for them. This goes against my nature, so I've no desire to become a retail manager.

I didn't see how you could share credit with retail-worker forum members for contributing to your screenplay, or how/if you plan to compensate sleK for administering this site, which I believe he does out of the goodness of his heart.

Are you a member of the Writer's Guild? At any rate, WGA guidelines would probably prevent you from listing forum members regarding authorship on the credit roll of any motion picture (unless forum members get wise, get agents themselves and worse, lawyers to negotiate their percentage of first dollar box office gross), so this whole thing smacks a lot of a credit grab. I'm sure you're aware of the franca lingua in Hollywood, but in case anyone else is not sure what "credit grab" is, there's a terrific article in the New Yorker Hollywood issue, from October 23, 2003. I believe the article is indeed titled "Credit Grab."

Second: I'm not bitter at all, Andrew. And I'd like to sit around. Natch, I'd love to sit around, but I'm working a 60-hour week since four employees quit my store in the last month and I am picking up the slack along with two other key-holders. I haven't had a day off since Sept. 29. My last two consectutive days off came courtesy of Hurricane Ike. My apartment roof is just now getting repaired.

Third: I am very much a realist and furthermore, I'm a lot more apprised of the difficulty of getting films made than you may realize. And yes, writing coherent screenplays that run under 120 pages complete with 1st, 2nd and 3rd act structure and stocked with believable, interesting characters is no walk in the park.

I can't image how you're gonna knit such a screenplay out of our various stories but if other forum members wants to contribute, they very well may help you. They might have funny stories, but if you stick around and read some of the topics and posted threads here, you'll see there's a Dickenson tone to this line of work. Something like screenwriting.

Fourth: It's a longshot but I may know you. PM me, if you'd like. I promise I won't bite.

Joined: 26 Aug 2005 Posts: 1704

Joined: 05 Nov 2008 Posts: 3

Most of fiction is taken from real life, or stolen from other fiction. Shakespeare did it too. Any stories that I grab from people will probably be unrecognizable by the time they are in my screenplay. And then, if a studio did buy it, my play would likely be rewritten so much that it would be unrecognizable to even me.
My protagonist is a suffering retail worker, so a variety of stories might fit. Funny ones would be the best.
What I offer, when and if I make it to the screen, is the opportunity for people to escape their worries and the drudgery of their lives for 90 minutes. Seeing a bit of your own life on screen can be a good catharses. I’m sure some of you felt this when you saw Clerks. Comedy can be a force for change.
I wasn’t attempting to elicit sympathy, but rather I was suggesting that my position may well not be any better than the rest of you. Nevertheless, I’m happy with my choice. I had a high paying IT career and I can tell you, other than the money, it’s often not much more enjoyable than working in a store. Oh well, at least I did get to go to the bathroom as often as I wanted, and I hated having sore feet all the time when I worked in a store. (the owner of that store makes over a million a year from it).
A screenplay take on average a year to write, and if it sells, usually gets an option for an average of $25 000. About 1 in 10 options are exercised, in which case they would pay, on average, an addition $100 000. They only screenwriters who make big money are the ones that have had a hit movie. 1 in 100 make it, or less.
I don’t have enough credits to join the WGA.
As for you Magnolia
Andrew

Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 256 Location: 3rd coast

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